We are living in a different time. Who could’ve ever predicted that we’d have a worldwide pandemic that would unfortunately result in many lives lost, jobs lost and being mandated to stay home. In addition, having to wear a face mask. But that’s our new reality. As the world opens up, what is going to be the new normal? Many people are teleworking and so many businesses are conducting everything virtually. It makes you think about life pre-Corona. Before the Corona era, many people said that they didn’t have time to get out. They didn’t have time to do the things they wanted to do. Time was one of the issues. Now that we’ve been staying at home, many people have the time they said they didn’t have. While this is a difficult time for everyone, it can be used for self-reflection. I lost my aunt who was only 40 years old right before her birthday in February. She was more like my sister as we grew up together. She used to call me her protégé. To suffer a loss and be in grief during a time like this is quite devastating and hard. Nonetheless, I’ve asked my aunt to give me strength and have chosen to use the pain for a greater purpose and honor her by not giving up on my goals and dreams. So it’s a day by day process. Grieving is a process.
As I was thinking about our new reality and my fellow Queens, I wondered how many of us are using this time to do some of the things we put on the back burner. Those things could be as simple as painting, drawing, gardening, adult coloring. I am aware that this is a difficult time for all of us. However, how are you going to come out of it? What is going to be different? I’ve heard some people say that it’s okay to do absolutely nothing. I agree with that to the extent that you should definitely have your ‘me’ time. You should be compassionate with yourself in times like these for sure. This is rough for everyone. However, I don’t agree for someone to do absolutely nothing at all everyday during these times for the next year or possibly even two years as the world tries to move forward. That’s not what I would tell my ladies. That inaction or inactivity is what can lead to unhealthy thoughts and/or depression. In addition, nothing can change in your life from doing absolutely nothing. I’ve had days where I wasn’t as motivated and just relaxed on the couch. Yes, I’m human too just like you. But I also know that my dreams and goals need me. Faith without works is dead. So regardless of what’s going on, I’m going to have to pull myself together.
Even before COVID-19, women have always placed their needs last on the list. Women have always done a lot for others before thinking about themselves. That’s how women have been conditioned by society to be; Givers, caretakers, nurturers with a mindset that everyone comes before you. That last part is not true. Everyone does NOT come before you. No wonder so many women are unfulfilled, unhappy, in the wrong relationships, settling and so on. So now that we’ve been forced to stay at home, this has opened up a lot of ‘time’ for a number of us, truth be told. We can choose to do the same thing and continue to get the same results or we can choose to do something different. What is going to be your post Corona story? I suggest you use this time to get back to yourself ladies. Prioritize your needs and wants during this time. Put yourself first. Take the first step. Your goals matter, your dreams matter, your happiness matters, YOU matter. This world would not be the same without women. Therefore, the world would not be the same without YOU. As you take the time to reflect on your life pre-Corona and where you want to be post-Corona (which can be a year or two from now), here are a few things to think about:
Clarity. Do you know what you want? Hopefully you have or will take some of this down time to reflect on your true desires. I even suggest you write it down. Only 5% of society have their goals written on paper and those 5% make more than the other 95% combined. Are you happy in your life? If not, what does happiness look like for you? What are your career goals? Do you have the relationship that you’ve envisioned? Whatever it is that you want, you deserve. Not what someone else has told you that you should want but what YOU actually want. It’s hard for God or your higher power (whatever you call that source) to help you if you aren’t clear on what you want and coast through life aimlessly. Think about a GPS system. You have to type in an address for it to get you to your destination. You have to know where you want to go so get clear on what you want.
Excuses. We all make excuses. I’ve made them too. This is not about perfection. However, at some point, you just have to be honest and real with yourself. In the book 6 Months to 6 Figures by Peter Voogd, he states that “one of the biggest ways to build your self-esteem is to do what you say you’re going to do. Every time you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, your confidence decreases.” How bad do you want change? I’ve heard people say that they’re busy. “I’m just so busy”. Okay. Well what are the tangible results from all that busyness? If you’re busy watching soap operas all day or playing video games when you say that you want to start your business, for example, that’s not the same as being productive. Saying you’re busy sounds good, it may make you feel good to say it but in reality, when you’re not actually accomplishing anything and have nothing to show for it, ‘being busy’ is just an excuse. You can have excuses or you can have results.
Law of Association. Who do you spend the most time with? Something I was told from a mentor years ago was that people like people that are like themselves. It’s like that saying ‘birds of a feather flock together.’ Mean girls hang with other mean girls. Who you hang around has an effect on you. If you have a victim mindset and don’t hold yourself accountable for anything then you’re not going to be in alignment with someone who does, who has a victor mindset. Are the people around you bringing you up or down or causing you to stay stagnant? Just because they’re your friends from high school doesn’t mean they’re right for you in this stage of your life. Think about whether or not your values and goals align with each other. Sometimes you outgrow your girls and guy friends and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel guilty. Some people don’t want you to move forward. Misery loves company. In the words of Dan Peña… show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. It’s that simple.
Character. Who you are will follow you wherever you go. You are the common denominator. Society unfortunately has made women think they have to compete with other women. If it’s in you to always be jealous and envious of other women, that will show up wherever you go because it’s a part of who you are. If it’s in you to be manipulative and petty, that’ll follow you wherever you go. You can’t hide who you truly are but for so long. You are who you choose to be. We are all perfectly imperfect beautiful creations of God. Yet we all have issues. We all have things that we can improve upon as well. I believe that there’s something greater than us that knows the truth. And the truth of who you are. You know what they say… the truth will come to light. Think about who you say you are and what your actions actually reveal. Are they congruent? Character goes a long way.
Source by Desh Dixon